MÆTA: A Postmodern Patron for DCC RPG

MÆTA

Mæta is meta, Mæta is a force. 

Some know Mæta as OPERATOR, USER, a sometimes enumerated PLAYER, or as the old technicians and engineers used to say, the ERROR “between the seat and the keyboard”. For most, Mæta is fate, predestination, and the natural order. For some, Mæta is God. Regardless of what they believe, without Mæta they would not exist—for Mæta created them, whether through RANDOM generation, or selected by hand or whim. 

Mæta is a metaphor. Mæta is you.

Well, not really you. But a fabricated, fill-in-the-blanks, representative of a gamified version of you. A character you control can call upon Mæta to provide aid in the form of a spiritual weapon, magical protection, or the power of an artifact. Any specific effects or details will vary, fill in the blanks to suit your personal taste or element of  your favorite game. 

The caster may spellburn 1 ability point to take an effect lower than the spell check result.

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12-13 Boomstick! Mæta bestows them with a short staff or rod made of meticulously carved wood and twisted metal. The metal ends with a round opening, and when pointed at a target, sends forth a blast of [_______]. 

Boomstick: +2 missile weapon, Damage 2d10 (special crit), Range 50/75/–, lasts for 2d5 uses or 1 turn. *Critical hits with this weapon do 2d10 per CL in damage, in addition to any applicable crit tables. 

14-17 Pellets of Pain Relief! A small cup appears, within the cup are 2 [________] pellets. Consuming each pellet heals 1 HD of damage. Take 2 and call Mæta in the morning. 

18-19 Helm of Hardiness. A helmet decorated with [________] appears from thin air. Donning the helmet grants them +2 AC. The helmet will also protect the wearer from 1 critical hit, but the helmet will be destroyed and rendered unusable.

20-23 Fire Thrower: Mæta gifts the caller an intricate staff that’s topped with a smoking alabastra that’s decorated with a flaming [________]. This staff can launch a ball of fire up to 60’, which explodes and affects everything within 10’ of it. 

Fire Thrower: +3 missile weapon, 3d6* fire damage to a single target, all within 10’ target takes 1d6 fire damage, lasts for 2d5 uses or 1 turn. 

24-27 A Drink of [________]: A bottle filled with your favorite liquid appears. Consuming it will heal HD equal to their character level. (A level 1 character will heal 1 HD, while a level 3 character will heal 3 HD). 

28-29 The Shield of [________]: A glowing magical shield appears. It can bond with an existing shield, or take on its own form. It provides a bonus +5 to AC. It can absorb all the damage of a single successful attack or damage source, but each attack that is absorbed reduces the AC bonus by 1. When the final AC bonus is used or after 1 turn, the shield disappears. 

30-31 Lightning [________]: Mæta grants the subject access to raw contained lighting. The PC may release this energy across an area 10’ wide and 60’ long. All within this area must take 6d6 lightning damage or make a DC 20 Reflex save for half. The weapon lasts for 2d5 uses or 1 turn.

32+ Artifact of Power: Mæta rewards their best with an artifact of power. This artifact can take one of 4 forms, roll 1d4: (1) The [________] of Vengeance (x4 damage bonus to all attacks); (2) The [________] of Vitality (current and max hit points temporarily increases to 2x normal); (3) The [________] of Resistance (gain resistance to fire, cold, drowning, lighting, and other elements); (4) The [________] of Shadows (gain +10 bonus to hiding and from being seen). These artifacts last for 2d5 rounds, then disappear. If the current possessor of an artifact dies, the object will remain. Another PC may continue using it until it disappears.  

Patron Taint

Those guided by Mæta will take on their character, quirks, habits, and demeanor. When a patron taint is indicated, roll 1d6 on the following table. When all forms of taint are acquired at all levels, there is no reason to roll on this table any longer.

1. Stupid Avatar. The character starts to take on the appearance of Mæta. The first time this result is rolled, the PC adopts a hat or headgear that’s not appropriate for the genre or time period. This will bring on confused stares and some snickering, but no other effect. The second time this rolled, the PC takes on a complete outfit that doesn’t fit the genre or period. People will start asking questions, and not take them seriously. This can be represented by -2 on Personality checks and general mockery. The third time this is rolled, the PC will wear the face paint, gloves and shoes of a classic clown. The population will ignore them while the local authorities may decide to intervene.
2. Trollish Behavior: The character starts to become belligerent to everyone in public. The first time this result is rolled, the PC will start to show visible signs of irritation, and they will drop snarky comments at inappropriate times, but otherwise keep to themselves. The second and third time this result is rolled the PC will try to get a rise out of everyone around them, resulting in a -2 loss to Personality, and a -5 loss the third time this taint is rolled. 
3. Loot Focused: The character starts to focus more about loot and treasure than whatever mission or quest they’re on. The first time this taint is rolled, the PC will always choose treasure over safety. All caution and concerns are dismissed if cash money is on the line. The second time this result is rolled, they will lose 1 Luck, and whenever the PC comes to a door, threshold, or entrance to anywhere new, they must always be first in the room, through the door, etc., to make sure they find any treasure or valuables first. If they succeed, they can recover the lost Luck. The third time this is rolled, the lost Luck becomes 3, and the PC won’t settle for being just first, they will ignore any plans or strategy to make sure they go first.
4. AFK: The character loses interest in things easily, and is at times non-responsive. The first time this result is rolled, the PC’s Initiative modifier is forever reduced by -1. The second time this taint is rolled, the PC’s Initiative checks will always be at -1d. If this result is rolled a third time, the PC must make a Luck check whenever they roll Initiative, and if they fail, they lose 1d3 rounds of actions, then they can “wake up” and take their actions as usual.
5. Spotty Connection: The character loses access to the real world. The first time this result is rolled, the PC will get the feeling that their connection with reality is spotty. The second time this result is rolled, the PC’s connection with reality will possibly drop once every session. Once a session (judge’s discretion, but it should be the worst timing), the PC must make a Luck check, failure means the PC freezes for 1d3 rounds. The third time this taint result is rolled, the PC’s connection with reality potentially freezes every encounter. The PC must make a Luck check every encounter, or freeze for 1d3 rounds. During these times, the PC is not subject to any attacks or spell effects as they glitch in and out of the world. 
6. Spilled Coffee on their Character Sheet: The character forgets an ability or an item in their possession. The first time this result is rolled, roll for a random item on their character record sheet, and cross it out with a thick marker. The second time this result is rolled, delete all the monetary treasure from their character sheet (cash, coin, gem, and jewelry). The third time this result is rolled, remove a random spell or magic item from their character sheet. 

Spellburn

When subjects of Mæta use spellburn, it comes as a toll on their physical bodies. The drive for “one more kill” or to loot “one more lair” can cause them to lose track of time and neglect even their simplest bodily needs. When a caller uses spellburn, roll 1d4 to determine the physical toll on their body, or create a similar effect suited for your home campaign.

1. The desire to eat or drink is lost for a number of days equal to the amount of spellburn used. Natural healing of hit points or ability loss from rest is reduced by half during this time. Magical healing works normally.
2. Using spellburn causes the character to uncontrollably “purge” bodily fluids that have been built up, or backed up since forever. This can be as mild as tears, snot, earwax, or vomit, or the effect can be as gross as your home campaign finds acceptable. On top of the ability loss, there could be some loss of face or dignity, reflected as Personality penalties or other loss of fame or reputation based on your campaign setting.
3. Instead of ability loss due to the spellburn, the caller’s dominant arm flares up with a sharp pain in each major joint, resulting in -1 per point in spellburn in skill checks, spell checks, and attacks that require that arm. The penalty lasts they until they receive 1 HD of healing per point of spellburn.
4. In addition to the spellburn, the caller must destroy a mundane object nearby (determined randomly) and lose their voice for 2d5 rounds (DC 10 + spellburn Fortitude save for half), as they scream in RAGE. They can scream obscenities, mild curse words, or even things acceptable to general audiences, but they must be very angry words (and it doesn’t have to be towards anyone in particular).